Sunday, June 24, 2012

A friend of mine asked me last week to tell another story aboutbeing blind and about what my husband has to deal with. I think the worst I've ever scared him, is when I drove the car to my in-laws house. Most of what we go through together is funny and makes for great laughs; after I live through the embarassment.
One of the funniest, and the most embarassing happened just a few months ago. I was so thouroughly humiliated when it happened I almost gave up shopping at Wal Mart. (Almost...It would take alot to keep us out of Wal Mart."
 It was late just before midnight on a saturday night. Erik and I were, of course, getting last minute weekend supplies before Sunday rolled around.
When Erik and I shop its more like a scavenger hunt than shopping.He drags me and a cart around the aisles.
    "What else is on the list?"
    "Peanut Butter."
    "Didn't we just buy that last week?"
    "Its been a month." I affirm as he wanders and mutters about aisle numbers and price-per-ounce
This Saturday night we weren't using a cart as we were just going to grab a few things. You know, Whatever we can stack and carry out of the store, because we aren't buying that much. (The best laid plans of mice and men... and Walmart shoppers... often go astray.)
We were wanderingdown one particularly narrow aisle due to the enployees stocking the shelves, when Erik paused to check a price and I suddenly had an overwhelming need to sneeze. I did not know which of the formsI could hear  cluttering the aisle were boxes, posts, or people, so as the sneezing fit was about to commence, I turned my head to the side so as not to sneeze on anyone. Once i recovered from the onslaught of sneezing,Erik began walking rather briskly down the aisle and I followed hoping we would be done soom, because I really needed a tissue. A stream of foul language and curses errupted from behind us, as Erik hurried me along the row of shelves and I was at a loss as to what had happened. I was sneezing, whatever trauma had occured behind me I had missed it.  Erik was doing his very best not to bust out laughing as I was dragged around the corner and into the next aisle. When I asked him what happened he could hold back no longer and informed me that as we casually strolled down the aisle, we paused long enough for me to turn my head and sneeze directly into the face of one of the stockers. he hurried me away so fast that by the time she reclaimed her senses I was half way down the aisle with no idea that I had just contaminated this poor woman. Erik couldn't stop laughing and all I wanted to do was go hide in the car until he was finished shopping.
The worst part of it is that I probably see this woman every time I go to Wal Mart, and don't know it. With only the sound of her cursing me to hell for recognition purposes, I blindly (literally and figuratively( go about shopping while she hides from me.
I guess it could be worse though, she could go from night stocker to NIGHT STALKER. to get even with me. I am used to holding the wrong hand, walking into things, and even apologizing to inanimate objects for stepping on them, but this will haunt me until Wal Mart goes out of business. I know that will come along with the end of the world so I just plan on laughing at myself until then. I hope that emplyee will forgive me and maybe even laugh along...eventually?

1 comment:

  1. LOVE this story! Ah the irony of it. :) hahaha!