Adventures with Elvis the Elevator

There has been far too much serious stuff on my blog lately. I don't know about you but I need a good laugh at my expense.
Back in May, I attended the National Federation of the Blind State convention. I did not realize when this trip started out the biggest problem I would encounter would not be the broken down bus, the lone crossing of 6th south in SLC or the fact that I paid for three nights of convention and only had a room for one. My most serious situations would befall me in an elevator.
Now, first I have to assure you, it is not a blind thing. Blind people are more than capable of surviving elevators on their own. This is a me, thing. I have a particular disability that makes it so I met disaster that day. I have acomprehendning technology idiotical disorder; if it has electronic components and buttons to push I automatically qualify for federal funding, because I will screw it up.
This is not a registered disability, but I'm sure if I could get someone in the federal government to require me to e-mail or attach a url in order to vote for them. It would fast become their leading cause. but I digress...
One day after a long afternoon of classes and speeches I went to my room at The Red Lion Inn to take my blood sugar and get ready for dinner. Craig Applegate, a friend of mine was going to wait for me by the bank of elevators on the main floor so he, his wife,  and I could go to dinner. I quickly did my stuff and found my way to the elevator, humming innocently down the hall from my room. I should have suspected that quiet innocence from the beginning. Once inside the doors with Love Me Tender  by Elvis Presley playing in the back ground, I attempted to locate the correct button for the ground floor..
By some evil trick of good old Elvis i was on the only elevator in the entire Hotel that went to the laundry room in the basement. Because I don't read Braille, I counted the buttons on the right side of the panel until I found the one for Lobby and pressed it. You would never suspect all Hell would break loose with the push of one button, but it did.
First I ended up in the basement having an argument with a chinese man about what floor I was on. Unfortunately I don't speak chinese and could not explain to him where I wanted to go. He yelled something at me, stabbed a finger against the buttons, and off I went. Next I found myself on a random floor of the hotel and had to wander for fifteen minutes before a very nice Spanish lady informed me I was now on the third floor. Luckily for me, I speak spanish.
Once again Elvis and I took our positions and I counted down to the first floor. Foiled again, Elvis was on his way to the 9th floor first.
With my arrival I knew something was wrong. For one thing The hotels bar is on the roof and there were far too many people willing to help. There were however, not enough sober people to get be back to the lobby. Next I arrived on the fifth floor, where I sank to the carpet beside Elvis' portal to the unknown and answered my ringing phone. "Where are you, Traci." Craig demanded. "I've been watching the elevators and you haven't come out yet."
     "Is there one going up and down like a yo-yo," i sighed. "because that's me."
     If Craig had stopped laughing at me long enough to help I could have been happily munching on dinner, but while he tried to control his fits of hysteria, I found a blind guy that reads Braille and he put me back on track. While Elvis purred about the benefits of blue shoes I begged him for mercy and stepped back in the elevator.
I don't know how many more floors I landed on before I recognized Craig's snorts and guffaws and I escaped Elvis' embrace. By this time I was so tired and frustrated all I wanted to do was go back to my room and take a nap, but Craig wasn't letting me out of his sight(good thing it was his wife who was blind) and, there was no way I was going back with Elvis.
The moral of this story: learn to speak more than one language, stay out of bars, and if you are blind read Braille. I am working on the Braille thing. I can read all the letters of the alphabet now, and I know how to turn letters a-j into the numbers 1-10. I will never be thwarted by elevators or bathroom signs again.
I know what you are thinking, but a good plan starts with a hope for the best and a desire to avoid  Elvis.

APlace For My voice

 Killing Casanova is my first published novel, but it is not the first one I wrote.When I began writing seriously, not just entertaining my family and friends; I was untrained and barely skilled. As I have learned the craft of writing I have begun to realize That there are portions of many different genre's that I can write a story in. It would be simpler if I were not so scattered, but it is also a blessing that I have so many choices. The problem is that in order to really write good stories you must first be true to your voice and then find a genre that fits you. I like Young Adult fiction, Adult fiction, Fantasy, Western, Historical. I enjoy some paranormal, sci-fi and mystery. First and foremost I like love to change people. If I can find that, I like the story. The Library for the Blind sends me a conglomeration of books because my tastes are so varied. what I read has a powerful effect on what I write. I read a blog that said: Every good writer reads religiously. I am learning to hear my own voice when I write but I still struggle to feel I have a home for it.
 A friend of mine; A writer of young adult fiction,gave me great advice. She told me that if I am true to my voice; the story will tell itself. I hope when, or if you read Killing Casanova you will hear the story of two people who have been influenced by their past but choose to love, trust, and live; despite pain and loss. I think this is my voice. In my world love and trust really do conquer all. It healed a heart broken by death, betrayal, abuse, and loss. I have lived in darkness, despair, depression and doubt. I do not speak of things I don't know. I don't pretend the world is a fantasy. I do believe. That laughter heals. That hope lives and that love and light are divine. If I can find a place for my voice in my books maybe you can find a place for my books in your life. If you have read Killing Casanova: Thank You for taking a risk on my voice. If you're still thinking about it...Read it, and listen; you might hear something you like.

Author Review

Recently I have read two books by Maine author Bobbi Lachance. She reviewed my novel 'KIlling Casanova" on goodreads and amazon and I wanted to read her work as well, to get an idea of her style and voice. I read her first novel 'Wishes' quickly followed up by her second "Cobwebs'. One of the things that impressed me with her work was her ability to tell a story that was placed in a timeframe anywher from thirty to forty years in the past. This is not a difficult time frame to work with but in her story telling, I did not feel like there was a generation gap. When there were references to the time frame I had to remind myself that the story was in the pastt. It did not feel out of time and even though there were no references to computers, cell phones, or facebook. Her story was believable out of time..
 The other part of her books I enjoyed was her ability to create romances that were believable through multiple characters. Whether it was the first time romance of her leading characters, the live-inrelationships of secondary characters, or the marriages of other people in the story. Her romances were well developed and believable.
 Bobbi Lachance has a gift for story telling and I enjoyed both romances. You can find her work on Amazon and you can contact her at bobbilachance@roadrunner.com

Super Powers

    I read a blog a few weeks ago about a romance that was set in a contemporary setting, with ordinary people who suddenly discover they have super powers. A modern marvel comic that is more romance thatn comic book. I was intrigued by the idea and the premise of having super powers suddenly change a life. I was talking to my chiropractor about the idea of his specialized treatment having not only the capacity to help me heal but the capacity to release a super power. It was then that he pointed out to me; what greater power in the world is there than the power to heal?
     Dr. Kyle Durieux of Simply Health Chiropractic, is not your every day chiropractor. Dr. Durieux deals with upper cervical spine misalignment. 95 % of all nerves pass directly through the first and second vertebrae after leaving the brain. The pressure of the weight of a dime decreases the productivity of a nerve by 70%. If the majority of your nerves are being depressed think of how much your mind and body are not doing to heal itself. Think of the super powers that might be present if your mind body connection were in tact. I have been working with Dr. Durieux for just a few weeks, but already I see more light, my blood sugars are lower and my body feels the difference. If any of you are interested in unlocking super powers, you can find Dr. Durieux at Simply Health Chiropractic in St. George, Utah. at simplyhealthychiropractic on face book. or by calling 435-688-0444. He doesn't promise you super powers, but you should expect miracles.